- Laine Berry
2016: Figuring out the Balance
If you haven’t already noticed, I took a little break from social media. I got wrapped up in adjusting to a new schedule, with my daughter starting school, and the holidays, and the list goes on and this was the easiest thing to let go of in order to take the pressure off myself. BUT turns out, upon a lot of self reflection and trying to all "figure it out," I find myself longing for a form of self expression and something that is "my own." Skinny Mom Jeans is that for me, it is a way for me to connect to other moms, share my struggles, hopefully inspire others.
I think I somehow got away from my original vision for SMJ (skinnymomjeans) and it started to feel more like "work" instead of a form of expression. I started to put pressure on myself to be "perfect" and to get more likes, and post enough content when really, I started this to reach out to other moms who may face some of the same challenges as me, to get inspired by all of you and to create a network of other supportive moms.
I just watched this video of Jada Pinkett-Smith talking with her mother and daughter in a series she just released, Red Table Talks and it hit me like a bag of bricks. It is so incredibly vital to take the time you need for yourself. I listened to this and it was so profoundly true, I knew I needed to re-launch and take time for myself, to talk about real issues, and to invest in what really makes me happy.
"You always have to remember to take care of YOU, first and foremost." "When you stop taking care of yourself you get out of balance and you really forget how to take care of others."
Taking care of others is not an easy job. Some days, I wake up and I truly question whether or not I can do it. I count down the hours until bed time but then when that time comes and they are all snug in their beds, I crawl into bed and my brain starts turning. "What am I doing.... Who am I really.... What makes me happy... Did I take my stress on my kids... Did I show them enough love today.... Am I doing right by them.... How can I do better tomorrow....." and it goes on and on and it isn't productive. I wake up the next morning drained and tired and I have to do it all over again, on empty. I think EVERYONE, but especially moms, need to take time, to fill up their "inspiration tanks" and take much deserved "you time."
It is so easy to forget who you are and what you love because the second that beautiful baby gets put in your arms, you are 100% focused on them and their happiness. Doing right by your kids also means taking time to be you and be in touch with what inspires you.Times get so hectic and stressful and its easy to feel selfish taking that time for you, but when you dont, that is the exact moment things start falling apart. When you start resenting your husband, your friends, your job, even your kids, because you look to them for your happiness, you look to them to complete you.
You are the pillar and it IS your job to stay strong and to take care of everyone, but in order to do that you must take time to get that inner strength and do something that brings you joy in and of yourself.
This is that something for me.
This year, I want to speak more candidly about things that no one speaks about. I want to help others, and I want to be true to myself through the easy and hard days.
Setting my intentions for this year, and those are to take time to do what makes me ME. To accept myself even when I am not at my best, to live less selfishly and more selfishly all at the same time.
I hope this video inspires you to do the same.